The Pilot and the Paleontologist

Do you know what I hate most about myself?  I care too much what everyone thinks.
I remember dreaming of being a pilot as a kid.  I wanted to race jets across the sky.
These were the carefree days of youth.
When I got a little older I told adults I wanted to be a paleontologist because it impressed them.  When they would ask I would get so excited to see their astonished looks at a young boy pronouncing such a big word.
I think this was a turning point in my life, a point where I made decisions based upon how I would appear to others.
I think it was the loss of my innocence.
My grandma, who passed, never gave a crap what people thought.
Maybe I can get that back too one day.
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